TV Overnights: Cadavars v Canines sees BBC One secure 9pm slot
A double whammy of Yorkshire glamour instigated Thursday evening’s top line entertainment as a familiar face crawled his way back to the turbulent community of Emmerdale (ITV, 7pm & 8pm).
6.7 million viewers watched as serial muppet Cameron returned from his great exodus, just in time to comfort Chas from Wednesday night’s siege on the Woolpack. The hour-long visit to the Dales gave Chas Dingle plenty of opportunities to continue making a series of rather unfortunate life decisions.
Her boyfriend recently murdered two villagers, was happy to see Chas go down for the crime and then just buggered off for the hell of it. Yet somehow the bruisy brunette was more than happy to run off to Yabby Creek with him, or wherever is closest. The first slice of unlikely conclusions pulled in a 31% share.
Slapped in between was an even more farcical situation over on BBC One. The tension in the Ahmed household reached fever pitched as amorous (and slightly unhinged) houseguest Ayesha stepped up her relentless campaign to bed Masood. At least his reaction was realistic in fairness, assuming the demented harpy was hatching a twisted plan.
7.6 million viewers watched the latest blossoming romance in EastEnders (7:30pm), one that would actually make you hark back to days of yore and fondly reminisce about all that ‘Kat’s mystery lover’ nonsense. A 34% share cringed as Ayesha attempted to play the seductress, wearing nothing but a towel, resulting in the biggest audience of the day across all channels.
It was back over to ITV at 8pm, with the second edition of Emmerdale pulling in a slightly smaller audience of 6.3 million viewers. An audience share of 28% watched as Cameron laid a surprise proposal on his beloved ale dispenser, presumably because he was all out of decent ideas.
Meanwhile over on Waterloo Road (BBC One, 8pm), English rugby star Austin Healy visited the school to judge a robot competition but somehow managed to get caught up in a storyline involving hash brownies. This is almost as amazing as Martine’s unfortunate demise on Wednesday. But not quite. Whatever will Friday bring?
Yes, the scallywag Barry family were up to mischief again, adding illegal substances into treats destined for the former utility back, presumably with hilarity ensuing. 3.5 million viewers registered for an hour of school time, resulting in a 15% share. But don’t worry; they probably didn’t learn anything useful.
The second half of the educational drama pulled back the highest audience share when Emmerdale finished at 8:30pm, and impressively, BBC One managed to hold on for the rest of the night.
Competing against the Dales and the ex-rugby player turned artificial-intelligence-expert was the first episode of The Planners (8pm) over on BBC Two. The documentary was exhilarating insight into the white knuckle world of council planning officers in Cheshire.
Some of the gritty and hard hitting issues they had to stomach last night included a small extension to a house and a retired couple who wanted to put solar panels on their roof. 1.2 million people reached for the Valium to calm the nerves, resulting in a 6% share.
Another week, another devastated corpse for Dr Nikki and her pals to play around with. The decaying carcass wasn’t the only thing being played around with as Nikki’s heart was also taken for a ride.
Fresh faced body-poker Jack suspected shady government goings-on were connected to this week’s guest dead person all the time a shady government minister was wooing the latex gloves off Nikki.
Even if you’ve never watched the show, you should know Silent Witness simply doesn’t do coincidences. Otherwise half the people convicted over the years could very well be innocent. And the last thing the BBC needs is another scandal. 5.7 million viewers caught up with the first part of the current mystery, resulting in a 14% share and the biggest audience in the prime time slot.
If the sterile surfaces of the forensic lab didn’t float your boat there was a much fluffier option over on ITV. The Secret Life of Dogs (9pm) promised to lift the veil on the dodgy dealings in the canine underworld.
Well. No – as it turns out Rex and Marley weren’t into gender swapping cosplay at the weekend or part of a sleeper agent cell, the reveals were a lot more digestible. Martin Clunes, a self-confessed lover of dogs, narrated us through a number of secrets.
Apparently some dogs have super human strength, intelligence, tumour spotting x-ray vision and a great sense of empathy. It’s unclear if Clunes reached these conclusions after a few tipples but nonetheless 3.3 million people lapped it all up, securing a 14% share against main threat Silent Witness.
BBC Two saw the return of Charlie Brooker at 10pm, who appeared to have lost none of his bite even though he’s under the spell of some satanic stylist. 1.1 million viewers watched as his Weekly Wipe (BBC Two, 10pm) looked at all the big news events and – more importantly – slated the week’s substandard programming, securing a 6% share.
Overnight data is available each morning in mediatel.co.uk’s TV Database, with all BARB registered subscribers able to view reports for terrestrial networks and key multi-channel stations.