The power of lived experience at work: A conversation with Katrina Urban and Alan Stracey
Opinion | Future of Talent and Leadership Week in Focus
Two NABS experts discuss why creating workplaces where people feel understood, supported and able to be themselves benefits everyone.
The theme of tomorrow’s World Mental Health Day is: Lived experience heard: real voices, real change’. Katrina Urban, head of L&D at NABS, and Alan Stracey, an ADHD coach who delivers some of NABS’ coaching and workshops, both know first-hand how lived experience can shape the way we work, lead and support others.
What does lived experience mean in the workplace?
Katrina Urban: For me, lived experience is about having the freedom to bring the parts of yourself to work that strengthen what you do and how you connect with people. I don’t really buy the phrase “bring your whole self to work” because organisations rarely mean your whole self. They usually mean the bits that are palatable or useful.
It’s more about having the choice to bring the parts of yourself that help you think differently, be creative and build relationships.
Alan Stracey: I completely agree with that. The bit about the “palatable” parts really rings true.
Lived experience shapes how you see what you do and why you do it. We’re not two completely separate people. As much as I sometimes wish Severance was real, we don’t get to split off our work selves from our lives outside work.
Everything we’ve been through shapes how we show up at work, from our identity to the experiences we’ve had along the way. In creative industries especially, lived experience matters because no amount of training can teach someone how to be an empathetic leader. That’s built through what you’ve experienced, learned and shared with others.
Lived experience can include identity, neurodiversity and major life events. What should leaders understand?
Stracey: One thing leaders often miss is that support can’t stop after the immediate crisis.
When someone experiences bereavement, redundancy or divorce, organisations are often supportive in the moment. But two or three months later, when the reality sinks in, that’s often when things become hardest.
A few days off doesn’t fix something life-changing. Long-term support is what makes the real difference.
Urban: And everyone responds differently. Your lived experience can help you navigate challenges, but it can also make certain situations feel harder or trigger much deeper feelings. Two people can experience the same event and respond in completely different ways because they’ve lived completely different lives.
That’s why leaders need to stay curious and avoid assumptions.
If you’ve been through something similar, sharing that can help, but only as an invitation to conversation. It shouldn’t become, “This worked for me, therefore it will work for you.”
Stracey: Exactly. I have ADHD, but that doesn’t mean another person with ADHD will experience things the same way. That’s the trap leaders can fall into: treating people how they would want to be treated, rather than understanding the individual in front of them.
Empathy, curiosity and kindness are probably the best tools leaders have.
Urban: And it’s worth remembering that your job as a leader isn’t to fix people. Your job is to create an environment where people feel supported and can access the right resources. You can listen, be kind and be empathetic, but you don’t have to solve everything.
How can leaders create an environment where people feel safe sharing as much or as little as they choose?
Stracey: Role modelling vulnerability can be powerful, but it has to be balanced. Seeing a senior leader talk openly about something they’re experiencing can make it feel safer for other people. At the same time, we don’t want to create an expectation that everyone has to disclose personal information.
What matters more is creating an environment where support is available whether someone discloses or not.
One of the most useful questions a leader can ask is simply: “What do you need to do your best work?”
Urban: I completely agree, but I do think role modelling matters. Not because leaders should overshare, but because it makes those one-to-one conversations feel less scary if somebody does need support.
The important thing is recognising that sharing is a choice, not an expectation. Nobody should feel responsible for educating everybody else because of an aspect of their identity or a piece of lived experience. We see that happen far too often.
Trust comes from consistency, confidentiality and respect. And organisations need to act when discrimination, harassment or inappropriate behaviour happens.
Stracey: That’s the critical bit. If someone shares a concern and then nothing changes, everyone watching learns that speaking up isn’t worth it. Accountability is probably the most important thing leaders can model.
What’s the difference between hearing someone’s lived experience and taking meaningful action?
Stracey: Hearing without action is just lip service. Meaningful action means dealing with the issue in front of you, but also looking at the systems, assumptions and biases that allowed it to happen in the first place.
If somebody raises a concern and then, six months later, everything has drifted back to where it started, the organisation hasn’t really learned anything.
Urban: We also need to stop putting all the responsibility back on the individual. When I previously disclosed my ADHD, one of the responses was immediate and panicked: “What reasonable adjustments do you need?”
My honest answer was: “I don’t know.”
Why would I know? I was still figuring it all out myself.
Too often, people are expected to become experts in their diagnosis overnight, when what they really need is support, guidance, and a conversation.
Stracey: That’s exactly it. When I got my ADHD diagnosis just before my 40th birthday, it felt like a neutron bomb had gone off in my life. Suddenly everything made sense.
When I eventually disclosed it, the reaction was basically a shrug. I was expected to know what support I needed, when I was still trying to process what the diagnosis meant.
For me, that’s where lived experience really matters. Having people in organisations who genuinely understand these experiences helps create better conversations and better support.
What lived experiences have shaped your leadership most?
Urban: I couldn’t possibly choose one. My life feels like a constant collection of new lived experiences. Every year I hope for a quieter one.
As someone who’s had many experiences across my nine lives because I am a cat, I’d say they’ve all shaped me. They’ve made me more empathetic, more practical and better at spotting when someone isn’t okay.
One of my first instincts is often to ask: “Do you actually need to be working today?”
We’re not brain surgeons. Nobody is going to die if an email goes tomorrow instead of today. Sometimes people need space, flexibility and kindness more than they need another meeting.
Stracey: My diagnosis changed everything about the way I lead. It taught me that people aren’t just fighting battles that you can’t see. Sometimes they’re fighting battles they can’t see.
I spent years not understanding why one day I could be brilliant and the next day struggle with the simplest tasks. That experience made me realise how important flexibility and understanding are.
With the right support, people can do extraordinary things. Without it, the consequences can be enormous.
You work closely together. How does lived experience influence your partnership?
Stracey: There was an immediate sense of recognition. It felt like I could be myself around Kat from day one. There’s a huge amount of trust there, and I always know I’ll get an honest answer.
Urban: We can be really open about what we need, how we work, how we like feedback and what support looks like. We spend a lot of time going down rabbit holes and coming up with ideas. Then I usually have to remind Alan that budgets exist.
Stracey: She does.
Urban: But then he’ll come back six months later and say, “Remember that idea we couldn’t do?” and somehow he’s remembered every detail. Mostly, though, it’s built on trust. We can be honest with each other, and that’s what makes it work.
Support your neurodivergent teams: come to Alan’s upcoming free NABS workshop Managing Neurodivergent Teams with Confidence