C4’s erotic puppet show: public service at its finest?
Opinion
C4 latest commissioning seems to be more focussed on grabbing headlines and “giving the people what they want” than making change.
“Public service broadcasting, at its finest…“: Hot young Channel 4 signing Andrew Neil used the above words to spoof the embarrassing comedy skits that used to pepper his BBC One programme This Week, but they could equally apply to his current employer’s upcoming puppet show.
C4’s press release describes the marionette entertainment thusly: “Mel Giedroyc invites a different celebrity to read an erotic piece of creative writing where the celeb is the lead protagonist. Each character in the story is brought to life by a band of puppets voiced entirely by the celebrity and Mel. In each fanciful, unique story, the puppet versions of the celebrities will encounter romance, scandal, mystery, intrigue, and farce, with Mel finding out from the real-life celebrity just what they make of their fictionalised exploits.”
Giedroyc comments: “This is going to be a celebration of erotic fan fiction. With puppets. Imagine a world where Jackie Collins meets Thunderbirds. I’m so looking forward to a trip to Love Island… via Tracy Island.”
Comedy gold.
Commissioning editor Viv Molokwu added (presumably in jest): “I’m very much looking forward to steamy storytime with Mel, a gang of celeb mates and a bunch of lookalike puppets. This is a very C4 way of encouraging creative writing, where artistic self-expression will be encouraged. We may well unearth the next E.L. James in the process, which has got to be a good thing.”
More E.L. Wisty than E.L. James if you ask me (a reference for older readers).
So Drunk History meets Ted meets Nookie Bear meets Team America meets Crank Yankers meets Greg the Bunny then (the latter two shows I acquired when I was ITV4 controller way back in Robert E. Howard’s Hyborian Age).
Another show that can be wheeled out in the campaign to short-circuit Culture Secretary Nadine Dorries privatisation plans.
Not.
The naked truth
Sex-themed programming has played an over-sized (sic) role in C4’s chief content officer Ian Katz’s programming slate, even when compared to the fabled days of abandoned onanistic celebration ‘Wank Week’ back in 2007.
By way of evidence, C4’s slate of smut over recent years has included My First Threesome, Mums Make Porn, 100 Vaginas, My & My Penis, Generation Porn, The Sex Clinic, Dogging Tales, Gay Pets, Sex Toy Secrets, Sex Toy Stories, A Very British Sex Shop, The Sex Testers, Naked Beach, Sex Box, Adult Material, The Sex Clinic, Sex Odyssey, SeXXXy Tatts, LA Vice: Porn Stars & Hustlers, Gay Sex, Apps & Men, Sex Party Secrets, The Sex Testers and Sex in Lockdown: Keep Shagging & Carry On…
Brand leader Naked Attraction (a permanent fixture of the C4 schedule) will have no less than two spin-offs for those viewers who can’t get enough of STD inspection-style full frontal nudity.
Last year Naked Attraction Hotel was heralded, a title which gives off a distinctly brothely vibe.
This May, Naked Education hove into view, promising to “allow people to ask the questions that they have been too nervous to ask and give others the space to bare all as they confront their fears and address sensitive subjects. From mastectomy scars and penis size to the ageing body and skin conditions, no subject matter is too big or too small.”
Not one to watch on catch-up while eating your supper. Or perhaps it is, depending on what floats your boat — different strokes and all that.
A tale of two comfort zones
The amount of the C4 schedule dedicated to prurient explorations of sexuality has made the channel the spiritual heir of Dawn Airey’s nookie-obsessed Channel 5.
Why?
Obviously, sex sells, which is a rubric for a C4 editorial team that lacks creative vision and tends to bank on the familiar in a bid to gin up declining ratings.
Private Eye hit the nail on the head recently: “It (C4) has launched a new political interview show presented by Andrew Neil, plucked from obscurity after a mere quarter of a century presenting such shows on the BBC. The unknown Stephen Fry is to front a documentary about gay resistance fighters in the Second World War. Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen is getting a new décor series called Outrageous Homes. And Michel Roux Jr, who fronted Masterchef, will be judging a cookery competition called Five Star Chef.”
“The Big Breakfast, originally on C4 between 1992 and 2002, is being revived for the summer. There’s a new dog-training show, and one about selling antiques at auctions. Make Me Prime Minister, a political knock-off of The Apprentice with Alastair Campbell and Baroness Warsi.
“There will be a competition to find “the perfect celebrity couple”, and Scared of the Dark, in which celebrities must live without light for a week. And a new reality show called Tempting Fortune, in which people live in a wilderness without luxuries unless they can’t bear it anymore, which features ordinary members of the public and so is definitely nothing like I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here.”
On this display, Katz is not showing the necessary editorial chops for the role, given that he appears unsure of himself outside his current affairs comfort zone as a former BBC Newsnight editor and Guardian journalist. Is delivering these tacky and juvenile stunts really what drives him to succeed for C4?
Katz is certainly not alone in this predicament — witness other newspaper luminaries brought into TV management, which is why many C4 commissions under his regime have a manifest air of “give the people what they want” condescension.
With the impending closure of BBC4, C4 has an opportunity to take a more serious direction with a super-sized schedule of popular arts, science and history shows. This won’t happen under Katz if his Ahab-like quest for headline-grabbing vulgarity continues.
Stephen Arnell began his career at the BBC, moving to ITV where he launched and managed digital channels. He continues to consult for streamers and broadcasters on editorial strategy. He currently writes for The Spectator, The Independent, and The Guardian on film, TV and cultural issues. He is also a writer/producer (including Bob Fosse: It’s Showtime for Sky Arts) and novelist.