TV Overnights: Corpses beat horses to give BBC One Thursday’s edge
Thursday night saw ITV once again throw us a giant helping of prime time wtf? in the hefty form of Martin Clunes – Heavy Horsepower at 9pm.
The title is not actually a reference to the aesthetically remarkable performer’s hidden inner strength or girth. Instead, for some mad reason unbeknownst to the rest of mankind, this follows on from last week’s Clune-fronted The Secret Life of Dogs.
Martine Clunes sure loves animals but whether or not the seasoned actor’s love has reached an unhealthy level is for Ofcom to decide. In the meantime he’s free to spout his love for working horses, travelling the world to gaze upon exotic variants of the carthorses that he holds so dear.
Viewing figures reveal that horses have slightly more pulling power than dogs (yes!) as the loosely linked series has increased in popularity by 18% week on week. 3.9 million viewers watched as Martin gushed over the powerful beasts, securing a 17% share.
Try as ITV might to confuse us into submission, Clune’s quest for a good steed couldn’t overthrow BBC One’s tale of disconnected and overachieving civil servants.
So – having spent sixteen years getting personally involved in each case, somehow avoiding numerous disciplinary procedures and basically going above and beyond their pay grade, it appears the Silent Witness (9pm) team still have the ability to surprise us with their audacity. This week they only went and jumped on a plane to sunny Afghanistan.
Microscope and travel vanity case in hand, Dr Nikki and the rest of the terminally dull sleuths travelled to the war-torn land to study a recently discovered husk that could possibly have belonged to a British soldier.
It wasn’t long before the scrappy band of misfits were getting themselves into all kinds of palavra, bringing on the wrath of the Taliban (uh-oh!) and the morally blind private security forces.
On top of all that the series’ penultimate episode saw Nikki, Leo and Jack deal with a contaminated water supply, bringing in an audience of 5.1 million and securing the biggest share in the 9pm slot.
A 22% share watched as the gang jumped from solving the mysteries of dead prostitutes, via the medium of swabbing and swatting, to saving entire villages in foreign climes. I really hope these people get overtime.
At the same time, Channel 4 offered us fun instructional video How to Build a Bionic Man (9pm). The documentary explored the advances in artificial limbs and the rising trend of body augmentation. Unfortunately, the programme showed us that scientists are currently restricting themselves to replacing organs and limbs instead of advancing humanity to the next step. Wings would be amazing.
An audience of 1 million viewers watched as a Swiss psychologist, himself the owner of a bionic arm, followed the attempt to build a 100% bionic man for the first time. The travesty against god secured a 4% share.
Earlier on BBC One fans were eagerly anticipating the latest trip to Waterloo Road (8pm). Last week’s surreal adventure featured a rugby legend, robots and hash brownies thrown in for good measure.
Last night’s school based action was a little more downbeat as former pupil Bolton retuned from a tour of duty in the ever-popular country of Afghanistan. It would seem the BBC are doing their best to remind us there’s still a war on, even those of us that avoid the news like a plague. 3.8 million viewers watched to see if there was more to the prodigal student’s surprise appearance than met the eye, capturing a 17% share in the process.
Up against the educational fun was a gentle documentary on ITV. Jumping upon the great televised NHS love-in bandwagon that’s been going on recently, was Nursing the Nation at 8:30pm. The unashamedly celebratory show follows various district nurses rambling around the country, always broadcasting a sense of decorum and pride as they go about their business.
The twee effort at crafty recruiting may not be traumatising enough for fans of One Born Every Minute but it still delivered an extremely healthy 3 million viewers into the grateful hands of ITV.
BBC One treated us to a rare moment of realism in EastEnders (8pm) as two characters actually did something fruitful about their miserable and exhausting relationship. Tissues at the ready, soap fans – it looks like Masood and Zainab’s relationship maybe heading the way of Ian Beale’s trademark aspirational life plans. In other words – nowhere.
It’s rare that the players in Albert Square have moments where they realise that they’re all terminally miserable and it’s an even bigger deal when they realise they must do something about it. The turbulent couple faced this uncommon existential moment of clarity head on, realising they must part ways.
The breaking of the vicious misery cycle brought in Thursday’s biggest audience across all channels, with 8.2 million viewers tuning in for one last round of Masood family despair. The soap also secured a 36% share.
Flanking EastEnders like a surprise attack tag team were two episodes of tranquil country drama Emmerdale which saw the village slowly morph into a small hamlet of New Jersey.
Debbie Dingle continued to spiral into a whirlpool of moronic decisions as she teamed up with dodgy business man Pete. The first episode at 7pm won over an audience of 6.8 million viewers with the second at 8:30pm falling to 6.3 million souls.
Overnight data is available each morning in mediatel.co.uk’s TV Database, with all BARB registered subscribers able to view reports for terrestrial networks and key multi-channel stations.