TV Overnights: Thursday’s telly fails to contend with real human interaction
Thursday night saw the usually unflappable power of the soaps take an ego hit as some viewers turned their backs on the latest dramatic developments. Could it be that the unbalanced emotional state known as ‘love’ stole television’s thunder?
First up though was a rival soap from the Northern territories. The complexities of small town romancin’ continued in Emmerdale (ITV, 7pm) last night, as slab of meat David Metcalfe was officially handed over from current wife Alica to new fiancé Priya.
The ago-old traditional ceremony consisted of nothing more than a few snippy comments down the local but it was a momentous occasion none the less.
A slightly lower than usual 5.8 million viewers tuned in to see David celebrate Valentine’s Day by fully committing to the woman he accidentally proposed to, ensuring a long and satisfying life together.
Seriously, these soap characters never seem to get any smarter. Whoever will David be passed to next, like a sloppy child at a stressful family gathering? The audience may have shrunk slightly but the Yorkshire drama secured a share of 27%.
Straight afterwards viewers were greeted by the dependable and bountiful face of…oh – someone must have given Adrian Chiles the night off. Instead football fans had to make do with the geography teacher aesthetics of (not the 11th Doctor) Matt Smith.
After twenty minutes of quality natter the UEFA Europa League Live (ITV, 7:45pm) game between Tottenham v Lyon finally kicked off at 8:05pm at White Hart Lane. The Londoners struggled with the French but it was Andy Sudgen lookalike Gareth Bale that secured Tottenham’s first goal just before the half time whistle.
Lyon’s Samuel Umtiti equalised in the 55th minute but Welshman Bale swooped back in the 90th, tipping the scales in Tottenham’s favour. An average audience of 3.5 million viewers sacrificed their relationships and tuned in for the entire coverage, with audiences peaking at just under 4 million in the opening five minutes.
Meanwhile in the barren lands of Walford, Bianca Butcher’s unrelenting punishments from the Gods continued to come thick and fast. Dependent Bratty Child #9 was still causing trouble for the put-upon mum as the powers that be dispelled yet more misfortune from the remorseless heavens.
Upon her most recent return betrodden Bianca has stumbled from one disaster to another. Thursday’s episode of EastEnders (BBC One, 8pm) saw the flogger of tatty wares discover her entire market stock was stolen material, putting her in more trouble with those pesky probation officers.
While EastEnders technically beat Emmerdale the half an hour overlap was enough to chink the armour. Other happy scenes involved a broken Dot Cotton staring at a picture of husband Jim while nursing a rose she bought for herself. Jesus wept.
Bianca, the dishevelled definition of depression, couldn’t compete with goings on in the real world as the usual viewers decided to spend the evening with real depressing people instead of those on the show.
Only 5.9 million viewers showed up to see Bianca’s latest trip through the grinder, securing a 26% share. When Regional News and Weather (BBC One, 6:30pm) is the Thursday’s biggest hitter with 6.1 million viewers, you just know there is no hope left.
Later on, Waterloo Road (BBC One, 8pm) bridged the gap between the soaps and primetime with the school drama celebrating the joyful day with underage births. 3.7 million viewers watched as student Jade popped one out in between double chemistry and French, securing a 17% share. Babies – they’re all the rage these days.
Depressingly enough, the big draw in the 9pm slot was the usual fare on Crimewatch (BBC One).The devil throated celtic siren known as Kirsty Young lured viewers into a false sense of security with her comforting voice but then proceeded to detail the horrors of all manner of offenses.
4 million viewers watched as the crime squad highlighted some old cases, hoping to ruin everyone’s night with the harsh dangers of the real world, securing an 18% share.
Over on Channel 4, River Cottage dweller Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstal grabbed some attention with the snappily titled Hugh’s Fish Fight: Save Our Seas (9pm). Before you get excited, this wasn’t a new show about Hugh getting into underwater fights and stabbing a giant swordfish repeatedly – it was actually a chance for Hugh to show the world how brilliant he is.
Mr Fearnley-Whittingstall even got his sexy on for the occasion – gone was the raggy doll hair and pale Plymouth complexion. The garden trawler took to the Philippines to highlight the problems with the planet’s diminishing fish stock. The one man movement pulled in 1.2 million viewers and a 5% share.
Overnight data is available each morning in mediatel.co.uk’s TV Database, with all BARB registered subscribers able to view reports for terrestrial networks and key multi-channel stations.