Third episode of C4’s Cucumber limps in with 510,000 viewers
Last night on Channel 4, Cucumber (9pm) continued down its flaccid path while shedding even more viewers week on week.
The third instalment of Russell T Davies’ drama about the middle-aged gay experience saw suddenly-single Henry comically venture into very dodgy arenas, only managing a 2% share for the channel.
The refreshingly frank look at life in Manchester opened up with just under 1 million, with the third episode seeing the audience fall to a limp 510,000 viewers. Companion yoof show Banana (E4, 10pm), whose début episode was watched by 341,000 viewers, fell to a paltry 141,000 viewers and a 0.8% share.
Thursday night also gave viewers one last chance to bask in the distressing majesty of irreparably damaged soul Perez Hilton, with his last day in the Celebrity Big Brother (9pm) house of horrors making up the majority of yesterday’s catch-up show.
The American purveyor of inconsequential gossip and sneering was unleashed back into an unsuspecting world on Wednesday’s live eviction, with yesterday’s highlight show detailing the build-up to the shrieking spectre’s exit and his formers housemate’s inevitable celebration.
2.4 million viewers watched as Calum Best, Katie Hopkins and The Artist Formally Known as Jordan looked like actual decent and worthy human beings in comparison, netting an 11% share.
The carousel of broken egos netted Channel 5’s biggest audience of the day but – for once – didn’t manage to top Kantar Media’s TV Twitter chart.
Speaking of car crash TV, commercial broadcaster ITV decided to take the night off and offered up a show solely based around repeating the same grainy CCTV footage over and over.
Like Crash Bang Wallop! but with 100% less Alan Partridge and a bigger sense of schedule-filling , the first (of two!) episode of Car Crash Britain (9pm) detailed many near misses, hit-and-runs and pile ups, all brought to you by low-definition dashboard-mounted cameras.
3 million viewers tuned in for the automotive mayhem, resulting in a 13% audience share.
Over on BBC Two, Modern Times (9pm), the series of films documenting contemporary British life, was back with a look at one of the country’s most iconic actors as his performance troupe decided to tread the boards in a theatrical production with a twist.
An audience of 779,000 viewers tuned in to see Warwick Davis’ Big Night, as the the Reduced Height Theatre Company put on a production of See How They Run, netting a 3% share.
Meanwhile, in the glamorous realms of the mainstream, BBC One was offering up another Thursday night trip to the sunny – and deadly – Caribbean island of Saint Maire, as bubbling English man Kris Marshall had to fake some sexual chemistry with latest hot-lady partner.
The fifth episode of Death in Paradise‘s (9pm) fourth series centred on a feuding rock band and a very dead lead singer. Despite the departure of the lovely DS Camille Bordey, the sunny procedurals popularity wasn’t affected, with the picturesque family murder show securing 6.6 million viewers and a 29% share.
Earlier in the day, Emmerdale (ITV) attempted to shock viewers over a double episode with one of those surprise death’s the writers have been throwing up a lot lately.
The first visit to Yorkshire’s most crime-riddled rural community saw long-standing character Katie Sugden (nee Addyman/Macey – she’s been about) attempting to out Robert and Aaron’s secret affair, resulting in the night’s third biggest audience with 6.4 million viewers and a 32% share.
At 8pm, an audience of 6.1 million viewers tuned in to see Katie exit the show via a very bad fall in a barn, with Robert’s attempts to cover up her shock death netting a 28% share.
But it was soap of the moment, EastEnders (BBC One, 7:30pm), that secured yesterday’s top spot as super dysfunctional brothers Mick Carter and Dean Wicks took some time out from the Square… which never ends well.
7.1 million viewers watched as amateur Hardy Boy, Laura Branning discovered yet another clue about Lucy Beale’s murder, securing a 34% share.
Overnight data is available each morning in mediatel.co.uk’s TV Database, with all BARB registered subscribers able to view reports for terrestrial networks and key multi-channel stations. Overnight data supplied by TRP are based on 15 minute slot averages. This may differ from tape checked figures, which are based on a programme’s actual start and end time.
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