This is what happened when I asked my kids whether I should be a CEO
Opinion
Being a working parent is hard. But we are doing important things for the next generation through role-modelling the choice to be and do whatever makes us most fulfilled.
When I was asked to take the position of the first-ever CEO of Goodstuff, I was filled with a whole range of emotions: pride, excitement, fear. You name it and I probably felt it.
This was the career moment I had been dreaming of: to lead an agency I absolutely love, whose values so closely match my own.
But it’s a big job with a weighty responsibility for our Goodstuffers, the business and the brand that Ben [Hayes] and Andrew [Stephens] have so attentively nurtured and grown for 20 years.
Yet, even while filled with self-doubt, I didn’t need to think about my response; I just knew it was an opportunity I could never turn down.
A brave/stupid move
But the doubt was niggling away at me.
Could I really do it as a working (four-days-a-week) mum? Would I be a worse, more stressed parent as a result? Would my kids be worried about such a big job impacting our time together or my availability to them? What would they really think?
So I asked them.
Some may say that was brave; others may say stupid — and most definitely risky, if you’ve met my opinionated mini-mes.
But their response has filled me with such pride and reassurance, and helped me immensely with that sometimes-deafening self-doubt, that I feel it right to share.
Every time I have told this story to a working parent, they have responded in wonderful ways and I think — I hope — felt a little encouraged as a result.
What kids really think
During the mayhem of bedtime, with all three children jumping around in various states of night-time madness, I asked…
Me: Kids, I’ve been offered this really big job at work, which is a lot of responsibility but means I get to lead the company that you know I love. And this role will mean I can make positive changes for everyone there and beyond.
But sometimes it might mean I am a bit more distracted and may need to do some extra hours when needed. What do you think? Should I do it? Or would you rather I had a job that meant I was around after school more [yes, this was the stupid bit]?
My eldest, boy, aged 11: What?! Of course you should do it, Mum. We are proud of you and you love what you do!
[My emotional twin, who feels everything deeply — so knows how much this means to me.]
My middle, girl, aged seven: I don’t understand the question? They have asked you because you’re really good, so why wouldn’t you say yes if you want to?
[Seemed genuinely confused about why there would be a choice to make.]
My youngest, girl, aged four: You’ll be the boss of everything? Yesss!
[I am certain she thinks I run the country now.]
Role-modelling choice
So my approval committee voted a resounding “yes” with huge smiles and I was incredibly relieved and emotional. They don’t feel anything other than pride in their mum and my constant doubt about not being available enough or doing enough or being on the school run enough melted away (temporarily at least).
Being a working mum or dad is hard. Even with the most inclusive and supportive business in the world behind you (thank you, Goodstuff), there are so many days when we feel we haven’t got it right and I suspect some of us will always feel the burden of guilt.
But we are doing important things for ourselves and for the next generation of girls and boys through role-modelling the choice to be and do whatever makes us most fulfilled. My kids see that there isn’t a compromising choice to be made.
So, for the working mums (and dads) out there, be confident. Our kids are lucky to have us as role models and even on the days we feel we are failing, they are proud — and you are enough.
Genevieve Tompkins is CEO of Goodstuff Communications